we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
