There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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