I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
