HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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