Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
