oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
