it hurts more in the daytime
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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