On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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