Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
