Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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