im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
