I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
