I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize