Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sorry about my life...
I am naked and annoyed.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
