i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
