i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
