just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
