she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
