We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize