That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
