So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Its about making memories worth repressing
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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