i think my tv is drunk
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heâ€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar