I must be too annoying 4 u.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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