i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
