You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
