Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
