Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
