the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
