i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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