So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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