Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
