I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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