Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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