Where are you?
In a non slutty way
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
