ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The adults are the big ones right?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
