ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize