also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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