Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize