Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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