Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
