I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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