after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Farmville is her only friend.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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