dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
