pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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