It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
