Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
