Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
