eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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