I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
