I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize