Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I touched a dick in church today