Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you win again, gameday.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy