Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So do you want to come over? ;)

(763): View more from Minnesota

Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

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(612): So do you want to come over? ;) (763): Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/m0zn

Replies (44) Good night (1215) Bad night (6895)
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(316): View more from Kansas

when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre

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(316): when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre http://tfl.nu/3hgx

Replies (20) Good night (7062) Bad night (1540)
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(716): View more from New York

You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70

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(716): You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70 http://tfl.nu/w9g2

Replies (13) Good night (6204) Bad night (1030)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.

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(781): i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed. http://tfl.nu/tv17

Replies (9) Good night (5078) Bad night (1113)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.

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(513): She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand. http://tfl.nu/7zl1

Replies (9) Good night (2628) Bad night (766)
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(518): View more from New York

Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

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(518): Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend. http://tfl.nu/xnkx

Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (1237)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."

(1-208): View more from Idaho

Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.

(208): View more from Idaho

......... Poor kitty

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(208): I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl." (1-208): Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating. (208): ......... Poor kitty http://tfl.nu/dw0s

Replies (9) Good night (1133) Bad night (1905)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem

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(803): thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem http://tfl.nu/yh4o

Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (561)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.

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(804): I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit. http://tfl.nu/xryz

Replies (5) Good night (1473) Bad night (530)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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(870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow

Replies (21) Good night (695) Bad night (1165)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.

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(412): This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him. http://tfl.nu/rlpz

Replies (6) Good night (1352) Bad night (553)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."

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(608): I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory." http://tfl.nu/0nol

Replies (7) Good night (2503) Bad night (528)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?

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(317): Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..? http://tfl.nu/l259

Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (296)
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(650): View more from California

Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.

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(650): Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels. http://tfl.nu/tpw7

Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (240)
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(928): View more from Arizona

it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.

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(928): it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird. http://tfl.nu/qac5

Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (296)

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