Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  She's JV to your varsity

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  (509): She's JV to your varsity http://tfl.nu/x8vj
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (848)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.

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  (848): life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward. http://tfl.nu/gey7
  Replies (10) Good night (1121) Bad night (3028)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.

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  (781): I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece. http://tfl.nu/l6if
  Replies (10) Good night (849) Bad night (6312)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee

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  (231): We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee http://tfl.nu/m4t7
  Replies (33) Good night (1481) Bad night (4281)
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  (626): View more from California

  We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.

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  (626): We stole a cat. That is all you need to know. http://tfl.nu/xol0
  Replies (14) Good night (3388) Bad night (1385)
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  (626): View more from California

  I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

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  (626): I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there. http://tfl.nu/iwr8
  Replies (4) Good night (1676) Bad night (666)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?

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  (253): How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head? http://tfl.nu/0ahi
  Replies (6) Good night (835) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im coming down to miami this weekend

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  We shall drink from the everclear river

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  (330): Im coming down to miami this weekend (1-330): We shall drink from the everclear river http://tfl.nu/wehk
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (358)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.

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  (+44): This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner. http://tfl.nu/2gdm
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (903)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad

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  (203): But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad http://tfl.nu/s23a
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (397)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.

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  (914): He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast. http://tfl.nu/061g
  Replies (4) Good night (743) Bad night (432)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.

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  (845): I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again. http://tfl.nu/qswf
  Replies (3) Good night (297) Bad night (523)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth

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  (775): I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth http://tfl.nu/2n2k
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...

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  (717): Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls... http://tfl.nu/qcx4
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I felt like I was at the zoo

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  (519): How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things (1-519): I felt like I was at the zoo http://tfl.nu/xxq9
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (202)

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