Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
