She is in my trunk
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
