You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
