I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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