I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
