Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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