I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
