Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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