i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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