remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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