Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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