Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
