I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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