Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
