hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
